TRACK: Zephyr ARTIST: Stewart Copeland ALBUM: Spyro 2: Ripto's Rage
Zephyr - Spyro 2: Ripto’s Rage
thank you ♥
anon, stop being so petty
i wish i could get excited about this animation job, you have no idea how happy i’d be…. IF i hadnt been so invested in getting this disneyworld job which I now have been accepted for. if only i got this animation job offer sooner, it’s just bad timing.
did you not see me today? i was out of it. honestly ive heard and read more bad things about animating at this place than good. and that scares me. you as an addition could make it better. im just afraid im going to take this job, something happens, i end up not enjoying it, not getting paid enough, being faced with something i cant do (since i feel i am not yet good enough) and miss out on the disney world job. if you didnt want me to apply for it you should have told me sooner… you had no problem with me applying and gettin excited about it
…and i knew this was going to happen you know. disneyworld was a plan i had and i was sticking to it. but now i dont know what to feel. i hate myself honestly, im in a constant state of confusion and dont know what to do
animation will be here for me after the disneyworld program. anyway i’ll be emailing my animation work to this guy as soon you decide to go off anon like an real human being with lips and a voicebox and actually talk to me so i can have his email address.
What is wrong with you? Sending me an anon message…really? I know who you are. And honestly I’m saddened.
You haven’t let me tell you my reasoning behind the way I feel about this decision. Actually you haven’t even let me think about it for long. I’ve always been supportive of you and your decisions. I’ve always been willing to help you get work, which I hope you get.
I didnt over-dramatize anything. You’re not me so you don’t know my life and how i feel. And why do you stalk my blog? I know you dont like tumblr so get the fuck off of it..??? I just don’t understand.. why do you feel the need to start arguments?….do you enjoy making me feel awful? Because you’re good at it. I’m sick of crying to myself.
Here’s another CalArts lecture test. It never got finished, so you can see some of my rough scribbles in parts.
I have a need.
to the people who sent me messages;;; they were all great… thank you!! i need to do what i want to do…what i planned to do… what will make me happy and not let the expectations of others stop me // because it’s my decision, not theirs.
It is difficult to say anything without details, but hey, just look out for yourself ok. Whatever you gotta decide, make the one that makes yourself happy. No good friend/family member will ever say, “You messed up!” and leave you. You’re too cool.
Don’t know about that. I can think of a couple of people who would possibly erase me from their lives because i made my own decision. My mum told me she would never speak to me again because I didn’t want to go to court over their divorce with her on my birthday, and instead I listened to my dad and booked a flight home. My whole mum’s side of the family rang me up and told me how disappointed they were in me for “being on dad’s side”. In the end i cancelled my flight and went to court with mum… only because my nanny rang me up crying and saying she was disappointed in me and i didn’t want to give her another heart attack so….
It doesn’t help that I’m a TERRIBLE decision maker, which I’m starting to think has stemmed from my past experiences in making wrong decisions, my own decisions that have been labelled “wrong”.
I feel my decisions are just constantly being controlled by e v e r y b o d y. And when it comes to my career… well, there will be a long line of people and when I push one down they’ll fall onto each other creating a domino effect of disappointment.
You can tell i’m not having the best day.
i will lay in bed for a whole week then make the decision, either that or vodka
My whole life is just people breathing down my neck whilst chanting “we expect so much from you!” Now the word disappointment is echoing in the back of my mind.
You see once again I am stuck at a crossroad. Maybe I shouldn’t even cross it this time. Maybe I should stand in the middle and… let a train run me over.
metaphorically speaking of course
And on an unrelated note: im eating cashews and a blueberry muffin which I am sharing with my dog.